Just Open the Door

Why do I try when it seems I will just mess it up?

Each time I feel
Like he’s giving up,
Little by little
And one day…

He will simply stop loving me.

Maybe one day
He won’t return.

The things I try to do
To show I care
Don’t count to him.

They are not
The things
He had in mind.

I didn’t do the right thing.

I didn’t open the damn door.

It was one of those moments…

If I had simply waited
Another five minutes…

None of this would ever
Have happened.

Our night may have ended beautifully
The way we both wanted it to.

But…

I didn’t open the door.

And now the night
Is lost at sea,
Being pushed and shoved
By currents of Anger,
Disappointment,
Hurt Feelings,
Damaged Pride.

He sits there in the kitchen silently…

And I can hear the thoughts
Of regret
Over having ever
Met me
As loudly and clearly
As if he was
Shouting them
In my face.

I will forever remember
This night.

The night
When I let him down,
Again.

I cried and
He yelled.

All because
I didn’t open the door.

And now…
I’m afraid…
It can never be opened again.

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